the end

I’m officially done.

And now 4 more days until we walk down RIMAC field and receive a piece of paper we’ve been working for the past 4 (or more) years. These 4 years have been an adventure full of valuable experiences and memories . I met some people who have helped me throughout my undergraduate years and can’t thank them enough for everything they have done for me. They also have given me opportunities to go beyond my boundaries, which I never really had the chance back in high school. San Diego transformed me to be more confident and have a better understanding on friendships and relationships. I’m sure all of you are tired of my rants on my past relationships, but thinking back, I realized how these times made me think about what I didn’t think first, which is loving myself. It’s been almost a year since I started to go on dating hiatus and I have no regrets for the decision I’ve made. This opened so many doors for me and I wish I thought about it earlier. Things happen for a reason, right? These experiences will be something I’ll take with me in the real world.

Holy shit, the real world - the big leagues, the deep-end pool, the whole enchilada. Funemployment, anyone?

And for all you people that bashed on me for majoring in Psychology and urged me to change it, because I will regret it in the future, I think I have enough common knowledge to major in something I’m truly passionate about. The people that have regrets are those that chose to take the easy way out since the requirements are comparably easier than science/engineering majors. My advise for those that have some time left in college or entering college, don’t focus too much on your overall GPA just because the major you’re passionate about may hurt your chances in getting admitted to medical school or whatever future endeavors you’ll soon face. Also, don’t focus too much on graduating on time. People can go into 6 (or even more) years to finish. Education is a gradual process for everybody and an opportunity make connections with something you love and yourself. Failing at one thing doesn’t determine your entire future, but rather an opportunity to strengthen your potential. Yes, I am fully aware that my major (and minor) won’t provide me financial advantage, but my passion is what brings more.

From the wise words of Vitamin C,

As we go on, we remember all the times we had together. And as our lives change from whatever, we will still be friends forever.

June 12th, 1PM @ RIMAC Field.

See you there. :)

so, it has been 3 weeks

… since I last logged on, but I’m back.

Anyways, 4 more weeks until Commencement! This quarter is flying by like WHOAAA. I’ve never felt so relaxed or (sort of) stress-free the past several weeks. With all the free time in my hands, I was finally able to get outside and capture the true essence of San Diego. Now, I don’t want to leave. I regret all the times being stuck in my own little bubble in the past, but we need to make sacrifices sometimes.

My time living in San Diego had its highs and lows, but I have learned so much and become more confident. Being over five hundred miles away from home enabled me to be strong. It wasn’t easy adjusting and I’ve said to myself that I made a mistake for being so far away from home. The endless and undying support from family was the reason I’m still here today; I can’t thank them enough for everything they have done for me. I miss them very much and wish we can be reunited again, which is all I want the most.

I can’t wait for the next few weeks. Life is good.

Agape.

Because I’m only taking 12 units this quarter and 7 weeks away from graduating

I can’t get to sleep without: Washing my face. Even if I come back home really late at night and immediately want to crash into my bed, I can’t stand sleeping with my makeup on.

If I were a doll, the accessories packaged with me would be: Sunglasses, handbag, camera (you should know now :P)

I have an irrational fear of: Let’s put my Latin to the test - arachnophobia (spiders), mysophobia (germs, dirt), necrophobia (death), atychiphobia (failure).

At my grandparents house I usually eat: 떡만두국 (ddukmandu-guk, rice cake potsticker soup) for New Year’s Day. Lots and lots of it.

When I was born I weighed: 9lbs 3oz. So damn ripe. :)

I am most opposed to: Genetically-modified foods, HFCS, aspartame.

On myspace I like to stalk: … that’s so middle school.

I am too old to be: … fuck that, I’ll go trick-or-treat’ing or watch Disney movies whenever I want.

I find the thought of childbirth: Circle of life sucks. What ever happened to storks delivering babies for us?

Next door to my house is: Another apartment that looks like my apartment.

My feet are: Painted pink/orange. “Sunrise, sunset”.

My preferred style of jeans are: Skinny jeans, nothing else. None of the boot cut, straight leg crap.

I know how to cook: Well enough to survive.

I am annoyed at: People asking if I was anorexic, or have any secrets for being skinny. All I can say is, GDIF.

Men should always: Have manners. Not only to me and my friends, but more importantly, my family.

Women should never: Be submissive and feel restricted

The scariest sea creature is: 개불 The most disturbing, phallic things in the sea.

The world is over populated with: People.

I recently broke: My white Macbook of four years, but that was almost 3 weeks ago.

I last cried because: Little things that annoyed me so much.

I would like to be in an advertisement for: 

My favorite shoes are: My black, strappy sandals I bought at an underground metro station at Edae in Sinchon, Seoul. W20,000 (less than $20).

My mothers’ greatest fear is: Being far away from her kids.

When I think of Full House: I would hate having two sisters and share a room.

I Say This You Say That

Pill: Protection.

Sticker: Postage stamp.

Swirl: Frozen yogurt.

Bird: Poop.

Drop: It like it’s hot.

Coaster: Coffee.

Wave: La Jolla Shores.

Enough: Drama.

Coupon: Marketing trap.

Button: Tee hee hee..

Nail: Manicure.

Market: Produce section.

Rust: My bike back home.

OJ: 오징어 (ojing-eo, squid) and 자장면 (jajangmyun). Yummm.

Trash: Mormon pamphlets.

Key: Chain.

Pick: Me!

Snack: Processed junk.

Snow: Sumo-sized jackets.

Bake: Cake.

Curl: Shirley Temple.

Ring: Lifesavers.

Soil: Compost.

Cross: No.

spring foward

Winter quarter, dunzo.

Hands down, this quarter owned my soul. I hope all the work throughout the past 10 weeks paid off. Never looking back again.

Took my Calculus final this morning. I don’t know how you engineering majors (or others use conceptual/practical math) could understand this shit, but y’all are nuts! It took me the entire 3 hours to finish my exam and there were only 9 questions (some with multiple parts). Question 8, Optimizations. GAHH! I swear, I think I spent like an hour trying to calculate the maximum volume of the postal packaging box, seeing how much you can fit inside the box without going over. What ever happened to simple Geometry back in middle school? It’s been like 5 years since I’ve taken pre-Calculus back in junior year in high school. Knowing that I wanted to major in the non-science/engineering field, I figured that I didn’t need any more Calculus, so I went onto AP Statistics during Senior year. Glad I took Statistics, since Psychology is Statistics based; if you can’t understand the results of the experiment, then you wouldn’t understand the whole thing.

So yeah, that final was horrible. I’m hoping there will be a big (actually, make it BIG) curve at the end.

Time to move on and focus on what’s ahead. It’s SPRING BREAK!!! :D

Countdown:
Spring Break: NOW.
Commencement: 87 days.

And now, I must catch up on my zzz’s. Only slept for 3-4 hours a night for the past two weeks. Corpse status, no?

i hate finals

Week 9 down, week 10 and finals week to go.

It’s that time again when I’m starting to feel more distant from my family and friends. With all the research papers, projects, and major information cramming for the next two weeks, I don’t have time for anything for the time being. I feel bad for missed phone calls, delayed text message replies, and other commitments that I have to cancel due to school. Even though my parents understand and try not to bother me as much during this chaotic time, the guilt still lingers in me.

This is the problem with education. With just 2 measly units away from obtaining my Education Studies minor, I have seen the different worlds of this so-called education. Why do we take finals (or midterms or even quizzes) when it’s really an event of regurgitation of facts from the professor or the textbook? It’s been repeatedly stated how standardized tests, like the SATs, can’t prove and measure how well you’ll do in college or wherever. We are living by the book and our precious time gets taken away from getting our noses stuck on information that we temporarily remember and quickly decays after being placed under the stressful testing environment. How is it possible to remember all the material, even after taking the final? In a psychological perspective, one has a memory capacity of “7±2 units”. Are we really receiving the quality education that we’ve paid thousands for? Hours or even days of literally memorizing the textbook, practice problems from past exams, and other aids takes away the other importance in our lives. Living under a Korean household, health and family are two things they value the most. When meeting or calling someone on the phone, one often sparks the conversation, “How is your health?” (or from a mother’s position, “Did you eat?”). Like back when I took Evolutionary Biology last quarter, I pretty much had to shut down all kinds of technology or anything that had an on and off switch in order to get myself to focus on the material, from the beginning to the end. Cherished time wasted from cramming facts that I didn’t give a shit about. Dinosaurs, plants, and Darwinism can kiss my ass. I never felt so disconnected; disconnected from those I love and the education I can take with me after going up to the podium receiving my BA.

My sincere apologies in advance. Our education system is utterly flawed.

fire burnin’

A huge bonfire at the beach, making s’mores

… or cuddling up in your fuzzy blanket (or Snuggie, if you wish), sipping hot cocoa in front of the fireplace.

Whatever one prefers, this is definitely one of the days I could really use. Fire, burn away my worries and stress. 3 weeks left of this hell. Bring it on.

um WOW

Hahahahhaa, I totally forgot about the Asian challenge. In my defense, I’ve been hella busy last week. Turned 22 last Wednesday (Nothing spectacular or off the hook. School was always in the way), but what’s special about being 22? All in all, I’m grateful to be living and have friends that care about my existence. Couldn’t ask for more, even when we’re all so busy from school.

Currently back home in Davis for the 3 day weekend and I’m already heading back to San Diego later tonight. Sadface. There is something about home that gives me the resilient feeling. Everything feels so limited living in Socal and being over 500 miles away from home makes feel even more homesick. Sure, Socal may have the sunny weather and all the perks that defines “California” to non-Californians, but I am forever Norcal. Norcal is my happy place.

Speaking of happy, where can I find eternal happiness? It’s already given that home in Norcal is where my happiness lies, but how can I go beyond it? What if my future leads me outside of Norcal? How can I bring happiness wherever I go? My friends tell me how I could make my future husband the happiest man on Earth from the food creations I make. To me, that sounds like a death sentence. Being a housewife means cleaning the house, taking care of the kids, and cooking meals for the family (in-laws, relatives, etc.). I cook as a hobby and anything to do with food makes me happy. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life slaving my life away just to make him happy. He also needs to make ME happy. Every guy I have dated in the past have made me feel used and disrespected. I felt that I was only there to satisfy them. Call me a feminist, but I’m (as well as other women that can relate) not some sexual object for their pleasure. You boys suck and you all made me lose respect for y’all.

I am now on boy hiatus. Why? Because I can’t afford being hurt again. Fuck you all with XY chromosomes.

The search still continues. Happiness, oh where art thou.

Day 4: Most favorite Asian food

In no particular order.

… and that’s just the few. :)

Day 3: Your most Asian habit

Eating everything with chopsticks.

Don’t judge.

Day 2: Your race

Sucks for my future husband for having to wear this wonky, potty-looking hat for our 폐백 (paebaek - Korean traditional wedding). :D

I miss street food. A hint of city pollution makes it irresistible.

Red Tigers for life.

Korean pride, bitch.